Power Words for July the 24th: Effective Negotiating

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Getting what we want, at the right price, can often feel like an overwhelming task. When we search for a new car, a home, livestock, or bread, how do we know we’re getting the best deal? Nobody wants to be flim-flammed.

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Bird Looks, Talks, a Great Game

  This is an area wherein the things we learn in our spiritual development can really be utilized to our advantage. We have examined, over and over again, the problems in our lives. We have looked at the troubles and desperation they inspire in us and the behaviors that result. We realize now that when we are under siege, we don’t do our best decision making.

  Now let’s turn the tables on life. In all of our negotiations, we are matched with another person, not always a foe, but certainly a foil with their own agenda. We must realize that these people, though they may seem intimidating, are just like us. They are only humans on an earth-planet-spirit-quest. The same as ours.

  Hence, they have weaknesses we can exploit. Let’s imagine a car salesman. He is not so much a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing, as a snake-in-worm’s-clothing. Though not universally true (but almost), the majority of people working in this field are parasites living day to day, transferring between different hosts, from which they seek to suck the maximum quantity of lifeforce. If you arrive on their car lot, you become the target for that day. Those in the auto sales game may have a myriad of problems: child support and alimony payments, debts to bookies, shenanigans with narcotics, sexual deviations, etc. When you go car shopping, you never know how put upon by his or her problems a particular sales associate will be. Realize, however, that at some point, all of these people will encounter a very desperate time in their career, where they absolutely need to sell a car, and must be willing to settle for less to avoid prison, leg-breaking, or some similar fate.

  While you may not catch a particularly desperate fish on your first try, focus on the fact that such a slimy bottom-feeder is out there, statistically speaking. When at a car dealership, wherever you might be, you are never too far from another car dealership. So your strategy might look something like this: go to such a retailer and make an offer on a car substantially below the retail price. You may be laughed off, but if you are, so be it. Simply try the tactic at another outfit. Eventually, you will hit upon that salesperson who hasn’t any choice but to indulge you. He or she must pay that bill, or keep their job, or fill that syringe, and so on. If your actions hasten the event of their premature death in a motel room, decades before peers in other fields, this is not your fault. You merely seek a way of getting to work and around town.

  This is only one example. When seeking the best price on anything, we can often look at human frailty and discern where the desperation is. While I, as a spiritual leader, would never endorse blackmail and manipulation, I would be dishonest to suggest that these aren’t also very effective habits. Above all, we should always remember this: we can have anything we want, and never overpay for it. We simply need to look closely at our situation, and see how.

Power Words:

Today, I see how this game works. I can find out who the human parasites coming after me are, and bleed the life out of them instead!

Power Words for July 23rd: How to be Cool

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Growing up, we’re often tossed into situations that have a very noticeable social hierarchy. We learn who is popular, and who is not. We see the roles that everyone, including ourselves, fall into. We learn, more than anything, who is in charge. The dynamic people from whom others take their cues. In our youth, these clusters can most often be identified as, “the cool kids.”

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Parks Braum, Cool Bright-Futured All Star Rebel

  To be sure, it is quite nice being one of the cool kids. The character of the cool kids can differ, but inevitably they are equipped with some innate advantage over non-cool kids. They can be attractive, rich, athletic, defiant, cocky, or any combination of these things and other things. Later in life, former cool kids will assert that they did not have this status, but don’t be fooled. An adult friend of mine once said, “I was a real dork in high school. I really liked The X-Files and had tons of acne.” My friend was neglecting to mention that he’d also been a talented pitcher who had a cool car, and lots of sex all the time. My friend may not have been perfect, but he was solidly amongst the ranks of the cool kids.

  It may be hard to believe, but I wasn’t always Brad Feiling, the worldwide self-help expert and industry thought leader, with so much reverence connected to my name. In my high school years, I was most commonly referred to as, “Fag Feilings.” To pun unavoidably: my feelings were routinely hurt by the moniker.

  I am no longer called that, or any cruel name. Today, I am secure in the idea that I’m as cool as it gets. I’m totally cool. How, you ask, did I overcome these childhood wounds? Well, in my heart, long into my success, I still saw myself as the weak, 14 year-old son of a failed fishing promoter, terminally unable to pronounce S and P sounds without spitting, and constantly shunned by girls who laughed me off, claiming I smelled of the rotting sea.

  I was able to forever drown this former me by, in effect, promoting myself to the rank of cool kid. I realized that the cool kids, for all their slick bravado, would be nothing without the lesser kids they pick on, and define themselves as cool in contrast to. After all, we can’t see light until it reflects off of another object, right?

  Today, as the mogul behind ThePowerWords.com and Warm Feilings World Media, I employ several salespeople, security personnel, assistants, and interns. I bark orders at these people, demanding they rush to bring me whatever I need or want, and consistently criticize what I perceive as their flaws, be it in their performance, haircut, or whathaveyou. By doing this, and attacking their self esteem so that I can feel big, I constantly reaffirm my self-image, and can believe everyday that I am cool!

Power Words:

Today, I’m pretty cool. If I forget, all I need do is look at somebody who is not, and target them.

Power Words for July the 21st: Letting Go of The Past

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We all have baggage. It’s not the kind we can see, or put our socks in, or load into the trunk of our car, but we carry it always, and it gets in between us and the people we aspire to grow into.

Power Words

I use The Power Words to battle temptation.

  One night I fell to sleep, and dreamt I was at the airport. I was at baggage claim, watching the conveyor belt go round and round. There were no other people around. None in sight. The conveyor was full, however, with many large, heavy bags. In the dream, I knew that they were all mine, and it felt awful to watch them traveling by me again and again. I didn’t want to touch them, to take them, but at the same time I was locked in place, unable to leave.

  Worst of all were my regrets. After enough time passes, we often forget the wrongs others have done us, moving on to new ones in the present term of our lives. The wrongs we have done, however, can be much different.

  There was so much I wasn’t proud of. I wasn’t proud of the things I had done in my addiction. I wasn’t proud of the amount of cars I’d broken into, searching for things I could sell to get high. I wasn’t proud of missing my brother’s wedding. I wasn’t proud of having cooked a dog. I was even less proud that I hadn’t made use of all the dog’s parts, as the noble Native American would have done. I wasn’t proud of all the baggage I’d stolen from baggage claim at the airport.

  Once I had begun my spiritual journey, things changed. I gained some perspective on who I was. Sure, I had done some bad things, but that didn’t make me a bad person. No longer were my days were focused only on doing whatever I needed to in order to feed my glue habit. I had emerged from the sniff dens and into the sunset, and I didn’t have to live that life anymore. I wasn’t going to pick up the pipe and ‘base epoxy again. I could let that life go.

  Let’s imagine ourselves at that airport, now. Watch your baggage parade in front of you. We can visualize it, and honestly ask ourselves: Is there anything in those bags we need? Anything at all that’s good for us?

  See yourself turn, and walk away from the clanking machine. See yourself walking to the automatic sliding doors. They open for you, and you step out, and make your way to the white zone. It’s for immediate loading and unloading only, but that’s okay, because right then your ride pulls to the curb and stops. It’s the fancy sedan of your loving Spirit of the Universe, here to transport you into a brand new life.

Power Words:

Today, I am new person. I am a free person. I may be powerless over my glue addiction, but I’m not glued to anything. I can let the past slip away.

 

Power Words for July the 20th: Dealing with Rejection

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Nobody likes getting the wrong answer. When an employer tells us we are not right for the position we seek, or someone we are attracted to refuses our offer of a nice date at Chili’s, it is normal to feel hurt. We stomp our feet, even if only in our own mind, and demand answers. Don’t I have an impressive resume, and nice personality? Didn’t I tell her she could order whatever she wanted from their elaborate menu? What’s wrong with me?

Power Words!

Don’t do anything rash, Ginger Geoff…

  The answer is nothing. Nobody always gets what they want, and those who seem to are hateable monsters. When we stubbornly refuse to accept this principle, we only make our situation worse. Our only healthy option is to go forward, seeking a new job prospect, or a new potential mate who would love to be our guest at California Pizza Kitchen. If we are willing to continue, we always find what we’re looking for.

  But what of those people who didn’t give us what we wanted? How do we make our peace with them? Quietly. We bear in mind that on a long enough timeline, life punishes all people. That boss who thought we didn’t measure up will eventually realize they are hopelessly confined to the world of middle management, contract an awful disease, or merely be confronted by the fact that their subordinates (fairly or unfairly) hate them. That date we sought will someday personally experience the universal truth that all old people are unattractive. The most vibrant, beautiful person in youth will one day be a disgusting ghoul, if they don’t die young. In either case, perhaps the subject of our resentment will just gain a lot of weight. The point is, bad things will eventually be visited upon anyone we dislike, because they await all people. We can resign ourselves to a quiet smile when we imagine these possibilities, and a humble one if we should hear about them, or run into a fat version of an old nemesis, knowing our own future is as bright as we choose for it to be.

Power Words:

Today I will know that I’m worth it, even if there are those who don’t realize it, and I will focus on me, leaving it up to life to punish them for their transgressions against me.

 

Power Words for July the 18th: Schadenfreude

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Schadenfreude. A German word for the sensation of taking joy in the misery or failings of others.

Birdlooksgreatsburg

Birdlooksgreatsburg

  At one time or another, we all do this. We get passed on the highway at dangerous speeds by a sports car, only to discover it pulled over by the police a ways ahead. We watch a person who once bested us fail, and grin inside, even if we pretend to be sympathetic. We see a fat person drop their oversized ice cream cone. All the better if they pick it up and try to continue eating.

  It’s often the case that this feeling is served with a condiment of guilt. What cruel, unfeeling beasts are we, to amuse ourselves with people’s pain. Shouldn’t we seek to help our fellows in their worst moments?

  No. The truth is, tomorrow we may wake up and step in dog feces, find we’re the subject of a tax audit, or be diagnosed with a terminal disease. If the people we ridicule want to turn the tables and laugh at us when these things happen, have at it. Life is short, and someday when our hearts stop and we become dead, no amount of sympathy shown during our lifetime will reactivate our bodies.

  So for now, when we hear of a senile, old person who became confused and wandered miles from home into the desert, or watch a drunk girl trip on her heels and land mouth-first into a curb, let’s let our laughs come loudly, knowing that surely life has plenty of similar tricks up its sleeve for us!

Power Words:

Today, I will look around my world and laugh with malice at the pain I see others feeling, all with no shame in my game!

Power Words for July the 17th: Keeping it Positive

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One weekday morning, I was drinking alcohol in a public park. It was Spring, and the sun was shining as a comfortable breeze rolled over me. The more I consumed from my paper bag, the more optimistic and at peace I felt.

Spiritual Power Words

Bird always looks so great

  Unexpectedly, a woman approached me. This had never happened before. She was of middle age, and had two children in tow. “You can’t be drinking here.” she said, with no pleasantries. “What?” I asked. “You can’t do that here. It’s illegal. You need to leave or I’m calling the police.” she reiterated.

  I looked her kids over. I did it slowly, and she noticed. She seemed uncomfortable. One of the children was very obese, and the other appeared to have some kind of breathing problem that was loud and constant. Since she had ruined my peace of mind, I decided to give her a piece of my mind. “Look, lady. Giving me the business won’t make these defective kids live any longer.” I said. Her face dropped. A moment later, she let out a string of profanities, then left the park. I did the same, taking seriously her mention of the police.

  Though I was inarguably in the right, I spent the rest of the day feeling bad. I thought of how many more clever retorts I’d have for her, if there had been enough time to think of them. I replayed the situation again and again in my head. It was her who had so clearly been the villain in this situation, so why was I now feeling so negative about it? Where had I gone wrong?

  My mistake had been letting her get to me. I only realized this after some years of spiritual development, but it’s one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned. The world is full of women in unflattering jeans, well past their physical prime, who would love an opportunity to visit their misery on a person like me, who was just enjoying all that life has to offer. Women, men, children, the elderly, crossing guards, and so many more groups contain such individuals. We can’t control them. All we can control is our reaction, and when we control it, nobody can ruin our day.

Power Words:

Today, I will live my life with confidence, noticing the judgments and opinions of others, but disregarding their worth, and focusing on my own.

Power Words for July the 13th: The Value of Patience, and its Limits

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“Patience, young one.” said the wise master to his student, when the boy complained that, despite all his training and practice, the old man said he was not yet ready to go forth into the world.

  Life is full of frustration. Think of the pot of water whose boiling we await, the lines of customers ahead of us in the supermarket, or the wheeled obstacle-mobiles piloted by others sitting in rows before us on the highway. Whatever our situation is, patience can keep our mind in the present, where it must be for clear thinking.

power words

Michael needs the spiritual power words.

  Although, is this always true? The answer is no. Events in our day may require quick responses, or a gentle push to move things along. Sometimes, a substantial shove is necessary. If we don’t beep our horn, that hundred year-old corpse stopped in front of us may sit on the brakes of her car all day. A customer service operator from our favorite public utility might as well place us on holds for infinity, if we don’t sharply badger them and steamroll their weak will. We are told, in the event of a fire, to remain calm and walk slowly to the nearest exit. However, fire moves very quickly. What will this advice get us? On fire. That’s what. Then we’ll be burned.

  Thus, patience, albeit a virtue, cannot solve all our problems. Sometimes we must take action, and run as fast as we can to that exit, without second-guessing who we might step on.

Power Words:

Today I will know when to exercise calmness and caution, but also when to bend and force situations into being what I want, now!

Power Words for July the 12th: Who am I?

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Power Words for Spiritual Growth and Recovery from Pain

“Who am I?” once asked a man who, after decades as the town’s best known and trusted haberdasher, had put away his buttons, glove leathers, and small trinkets, and taken his retirement in the countryside. After so long making a living of strings and zips and other notions, the man felt that if not the proprietor of the haberdashery, he was surely nobody at all.

  One day, happening upon a stream, and pausing to take a rest, the man had a new thought. In the light of the sun, hearing the trickle of the water, he suddenly felt a peace fall over him as he gazed into the stream at his own reflection. Surely he had been a haberdasher, and before that apprentice to a masterdasher, and previous to then a student at one of the finest habercademies, and so on. However, these things could be said of many men. Haberdashers, mostly.

  The man reflected in the stream was only himself, and while he might be like many others, there was only one him. The true person he was lived not in the haberdashery, but in his heart.

Power Words:

The person I am is not my job, my place, a hat I wear, or a band I like. These are all parts of me, but they come and go. Today I will look at my truest self, by pointing my eyes into my soul. Backward and down.

 

Power Words for July the 11th: Birth, and Rebirth: New Beginnings, and Beginnings Agains

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Sometimes we make a mess. We spill milk, break a heel, or burn every bridge in our personal life, while simultaneously wrecking our career.

hellobird

These things can have us feeling pretty run-down. We replay the choices we’ve made over and over, wondering what we could’ve done differently, and circle the shame-drain in a whirlpool of self-kicks, kicking ourselves.

Nobody’s walking to Australia today. We’re only human. If a mistake were all it took to stop our journey, we’d have given up a long time ago.
Whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can always pause, take a deep breath, and give ourselves a fresh start; a blank page that brightly smiles back at us. Sometimes this is as simple deciding to change our attitude, and making a commitment to take positive action throughout our day. In other cases, we may need to attain a new identity, leave whatever place we call home, and never speak to the people there again, shutting our time with them away and keeping our former life a secret we take to the grave.
But these specifics aren’t important. No matter our situation, we can choose a fresh start knowing that we are worthy of being loved, and giving love. We deserve it!

Power Words:

Today is a new day. I will put on a clean shirt, smile at an animal or baby, and choose to feel brand-new!