Power Words for August the 8th: Don’t Take it Personally

We are all sensitive people. This was clear to Marvin Gaye when he said so in the classic song Let’s Get It On, and its clear to each of us when some event in our lives inspires some strong emotion inside us.

Sometimes these emotions are positive. We feel joy and love and laughter. Often though, perhaps too often, our sensitivity makes us feel hurt or angry. The things that happen to us, especially the behavior of others, can injure our pride.

What good does pride do us? Taking pride in who we are might be okay, but it doesn’t change who we are. We merely are who we are, pride or no. When we become obsessed with our sense of self, and feel as though actions by others toward us always reflect our worth, we start down a slippery path. We approach the world and its people always with the attitude of, “Don’t you know who am?”

Most likely, they do not. Other people just do what they do and often don’t take notice of who they’re doing it to. Children who raise their middle finger toward me when I drive my sedan on my street don’t know that I’m Brad Feiling, or what all of my traits are, positive and negative. They just want to give a rude gesture to an adult who visibly out-earns their parents. Similarly, whomever scratched my sedan’s driver door with a key in Santa Monica last month likely didn’t know I was the owner of the car.

This is why we must not take things personally. Our tendency to this is natural, but it is a grave liability. When challenged by these things, we need only take a deep breath, and remember that these people are sick, just as we once were. We should be grateful we’re walking a spiritual path now.

Once we’ve done that, we can focus on our revenge. The universe is a place forever seeking balance, so we’ll need to harm the offending person slightly worse than they have us, in order to correct the error. A good way I find, lately, is to smear animal feces on the property of such people. Animal scat can be found almost anywhere, in great quantities, usually the product of dogs (large dogs are best). For example, those neighborhood kids I mentioned? Recently, under cover of night, I visited their homes and smeared the siding and front doors with elaborate murals of the aforementioned substance.

Here again, my pride attempted to jump in and stir up trouble. I was upset that I was not going to receive credit for the feces painting. The victims would not know who did it, or for what reason. I took a deep breath, and reminded myself that this isn’t personal, and continued to wipe large brown circles onto the white, painted wood of the Masterson’s front door.

Power Words:

Today, I don’t need to make anything personal. When I don’t react emotionally, I can even scores with other people using cold, calculating effectiveness.

Power Words for August the 7th: A Proposition for Cats

Animals are therapeutic. Most of us would agree with this statement, and as a therapist I always advise my clients that a pet can be a great help in steadying the self and cleaving negative feelings. Except in cases where I believe the client may cause, usually through negligence, the death of the animal.

I have certain misgivings though, about a particular pet choice my clients often make. I refer, as some may have guessed, to the American house cat.

Cats are adorable. I don’t deny this. When we pet them, and they purr, and slink here and there, we feel pleasure. However, can any of us honestly say we have a found a cat to be reliable? “I can always count on my cat when I get home.” Some people might feel this way, but they’re wrong. This is a false belief. Cats are hit or miss. They tend to emerge when they want something. Food, typically.

I have worked with many men of middle age who found themselves unable to connect with a partner in a meaningful way. These clients tended to flee relationships when trouble arose, but equally as often when they merely found themselves beginning to feel attached or reliant to the other person. Many times, these people bemoan their own loneliness and express the want for something lasting, but they are unable to overcome their natural inclination otherwise. This is what I see, when I look to the behavior of cats. Cats are natural commitment-phobes. So, what to do with them?

I would never advise anyone drown their cat. Unless supernatural forces are involved. So we will need another solution.

Thus, to the cat world, I submit the following offer:

Dear cats, we enjoy your company and the touch of your soft fur. We care about you and want you to be happy. But neither of us are going to live forever. Right, cats? Life is short. Especially yours. So, all cats, in the world, I challenge you. I challenge you to take a step you are afraid of. Come near to us, and not just for meat byproducts and back-scratching. Don’t run away from your feelings, or ours. I want this to be a spiritual journey for all of you, and hold your paw as we take risks together. Please understand though, this offer isn’t forever. It’s now or never, and we, the people of earth, won’t hold our breath.

If you can’t meet us halfway, we will have to move on, and you will have to return to the wild where you’ll live only by your wits and ability to compete with other animals.

And we will drown at least some of you.

So, think about it. The choice is yours. We’re opening our hearts to you, and want nothing more than to welcome you inside of us. We do love you, cats.

Power Words:

I want to love cats, but I need to protect my heart too. I am strong enough to make the right choice.

Power Words for July the 13th: The Value of Patience, and its Limits

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“Patience, young one.” said the wise master to his student, when the boy complained that, despite all his training and practice, the old man said he was not yet ready to go forth into the world.

  Life is full of frustration. Think of the pot of water whose boiling we await, the lines of customers ahead of us in the supermarket, or the wheeled obstacle-mobiles piloted by others sitting in rows before us on the highway. Whatever our situation is, patience can keep our mind in the present, where it must be for clear thinking.

power words

Michael needs the spiritual power words.

  Although, is this always true? The answer is no. Events in our day may require quick responses, or a gentle push to move things along. Sometimes, a substantial shove is necessary. If we don’t beep our horn, that hundred year-old corpse stopped in front of us may sit on the brakes of her car all day. A customer service operator from our favorite public utility might as well place us on holds for infinity, if we don’t sharply badger them and steamroll their weak will. We are told, in the event of a fire, to remain calm and walk slowly to the nearest exit. However, fire moves very quickly. What will this advice get us? On fire. That’s what. Then we’ll be burned.

  Thus, patience, albeit a virtue, cannot solve all our problems. Sometimes we must take action, and run as fast as we can to that exit, without second-guessing who we might step on.

Power Words:

Today I will know when to exercise calmness and caution, but also when to bend and force situations into being what I want, now!