August 2013 | Brad Feiling's The Power Words

How to Help Another Human Being

Posted on August 21, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

Walking to work this morning, I encountered a homeless man sprawled on the sidewalk. Laying on his back, he raised his head at me, and asked, “Can you help a man out, sir?” He was extending his open palm. A sort of crust covered most of the hand.

I began to ponder: how do we truly help another person?

I have, in my spiritual journey, always been taught (and tried to teach) that the most helpful thing I can do for myself is to help another person. When I simply sit with another person, and listen to him or her discuss their problems, I soon forget my own. This is the great lesson of life.

Remembering this lesson, I knew it was exactly what the situation called for. I sat beside the man and began to tell him of my woes. For starters, my hot tub has utterly ceased to work, and as it was created by a specialty firm in Corinth, I’ll have to wait four days for a repair crew to travel internationally. My problems with my home go much further though, as my in-home misters continue to generate problems with appliances, and I really need to enjoy both my electrically powered appliances and a fine mist of water falling on me at the same time.

The man seemed confused, then engaged, then shuffled off. I assume he felt better. I was very glad to help.

Power Words:

I’m happy to help you by taking your help so please proceed with giving me things. Praise our creator.

Taking Action for Your Identity

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

How do we know who we are?

Sure, we can look in the mirror. We can read the information on our driver’s license. We can ask people, if they know us.

But very often, none of these will provide the kind of answer we’re looking for. The information we attain through the above methods is somehow not enough. Whether we realize it or not, I find most often in my work determining and outlining a person’s spiritual path, that the enough we search for simply isn’t there.

Yet.

Rest easy. There are many people you can be, and the good news is that they all exist already. How do you dress yourself? For comfort? Style? What you personally think looks good? None of these are the correct approach. You’ll need to select a preordained identity outfit, most of which you’ll recognize. Some popular ones include Metal Fan, Outdoorsman/neo-hippie, Hipster, Surfer, etc. If you want to do it right, this won’t be cheap. Metal Fan (Correct, modestly-priced jeans and t-shirt, with optional accessories) is perhaps the cheapest, while any version of hippie is paradoxically the most expensive (though you’ll need to seem as though you don’t care how you look, $1000 worth of gear from Patagonia or The North Face is necessary).

And it’s really that simple. Once you’ve got the outfit on, everything else will follow. You will intuitively know which kind of music, politics, and hobbies you like. It will be clear who to date, and who to hate. Likeminded people will see you, and help you learn these things, fast!

This is what discovering who you are looks like, despite what my competitors may tell you. This is fact.

Power Words:

I can be anyone I want. All I need do is click add-to-cart.

From the Archives: The Importance of Manners

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

This week, August 12-16, I’ll be standing trial for fraud in Florida, and thus unable to bring you new words each day. In the meantime, please enjoy reposts of some of my best work. I’ll return Monday after these absurd charges have been rebuffed. Please do not hesitate to send me money in any amount, and it will help you more than it does me, and it shouldn’t need to be restated that the greater the amount, the greater the help to you will be.

Listen to Post Power Words – July 22nd

Saying please and thank you. Letting others off of the elevator first. Waiting to eat until all at our table have been served. These are examples of manners.

In our culture, manners are a social contract we honor so that we can demonstrate to others that we respect them, and want to treat them with courtesy. It feels good to treat our fellows this way, and to be treated so in return.

Respect, however, is like the spiritual journey we’re all on: a two way street. We do our best to treat others the right way, but not everyone will honor the contract like we do. Like any other contract, the manners contract can be broken.

When this happens, we need to focus on maintaining respect for ourselves. In order to do this, sometimes, we have to put away our manners. We can put them in our pocket. They’ll be safe there.

When a person treats us rudely, when they figuratively wipe barbecue sauce from their mouth onto our sleeve, we must respond in kind. In these cases, it is okay for us to tell that rude person that they are a moron, a pig, or to suggest, eloquently, “Why don’t you go eat a bowl of fuck. They’re in the fridge. Help yourself.” It should be noted that physical violence should always be avoided. However, this isn’t always avoidable. As Shakespeare wrote in his most famous play, “Beware of entrance into a quarrel, but being in, Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee.” In modern terms, this means it is okay to beat up someone who challenges you.

Power Words:

Today I will shoot beams of kindness and respect to the world, but when they aren’t bounced back, I will not hesitate to put fools in their place.

From the Archives: What We Can Learn from Animals

Posted on August 15, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

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No doubt, human beings are the most important creatures on earth. We shouldn’t hesitate to admit it. Nor should we avoid helping ourselves to whatever it is, on this blue planet, that we need. Or want. Or merely want others not to have.

Class struggles in the animal world. But uh, wow bird really does look great.

That said, there are still lessons we can take from other, lesser creatures. Take, for instance, the hedgehog. What do you think of hedgehogs? Well, if you’re like most people, you think about hedgehogs hardly at all. Could you even pick one out of a lineup of small mammals?

In case you didn’t know, the hedgehog is an adorable, small rodent that can be found all over the world. Hedgehogs are very honest about how they’re feeling. In moments of contentment, the hedgehog can be heard to purr and whistle softly. These creatures puff and snort when mildly displeased, but loudly hiss and click when angry. Hedgehogs have never been observed to ‘pretend everything is fine’ to avoid conflict or not make a situation uncomfortable for others.

What does all this mean for us? Well, the hedgehog, according to evolutionary science, has changed hardly at all over the last 15 million years. He’s a survivor, and wearing his heart on his sleeve, the hedgehog has seen his way through broad changes in his world. Anatomically modern humans, by contrast, emerged only about 200,000 years ago.

How good a shot do we have at lasting? We’re smart enough to invent weapons that could obliterate our species, but still too stupid to avoid drowning in the pool or being electrocuted to death near public transportation without signs that contain both words and pictures.

So the next time we feel an impulse to call an animal stupid, why not take a look in the mirror, and focus on our own flaws? Just be careful not to slip on the bathroom floor and kill yourself, moron. Water can cause surfaces to become wet. We’ll get a sign made for you about that right away.

Power Words:

Today I will be like the hedgehog, and speak my mind without thinking about it first, and I will realize that if my species is doomed, I am to blame.

From the Archives: When to be Yourself

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

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We are all unique individuals, and we should make each day a celebration of this fact by sharing our own unique perspective and contribution with our fellow human beings. One child may draw a beautiful illustration of a gray squirrel, demonstrating fine technique and artistic talent. Another may create a rough outline of the same animal, and make it purple, or orange, or with wheels. Creativity has no right or wrong answers.

Homeless Joe is a chronic deviant. He needs the spiritual guidance of THE POWER WORDS

When we grow up, we bring our uniqueness to our careers. We find our place in the world and those things which we most excel at, allowing us to be of maximum value to fellow man. Is there such a thing as sharing too much of our inner selves? Absolutely.

When going to get our morning coffee we may see a homeless man outside the convenience store, pleasing himself sexually. We guffaw, but is this person not merely living life on his own terms, free from judgment? Inarguably so, but what he’s doing to himself won’t help him find a job, or a shower, and it surely doesn’t help us.

We might think we have nothing in common with the bearded, unwashed deviant, but don’t we so often engage in the same behavior? When we engage our coworkers in talk about what we think they should be eating, a flakey new spiritual movement, self-righteous talk about why their politics are invalid, or the merits of electronic-dance-music, aren’t we just practicing another form of masturbation? Even if these are special, important parts of ourselves, we need not spray them orgasmically onto the world.

Power Words:

Today I will have the courage to be myself, all the way up to the limit of unstable, insane behavior that alienates others and puts me in danger of scrutiny from authority.

From the Archives: Taking Care of Ourselves

Posted on August 13, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

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As people, we try to put a strong emphasis on maintaining our body, mind, and spirit. We try to eat right, exercise, learn new things, and live rightly as good people. We put these plans into effect by doing things like taking up cycling, learning to play an instrument, or reading daily meditations to guide us, but this is not all we must do to meet our own needs.

Power Words

We have other needs too. These needs are different, and we don’t usually feel inclined to brag about them, but satisfying them is equally important to keeping us centered and on the right track. That being said, we can take steps to fulfill these needs without judging or shaming ourselves, knowing that we’re only human (who would’ve guessed?).

How do we treat ourselves to something, or, ‘blow off steam?’ The answers are as different as there are colors in the rainbow, but we have found that some things are common. Have we taken a day off work lately, just for us? Have we been getting enough fried food? When was the last time we drank to the point of memory-loss? Perhaps we take a trip all by ourselves to a far away casino, and proceed to lose money needed for other things, after which we can lie to our friends about where we went. If we’ve been feeling lonely, or a combination of aroused and lonely, we might seek the help of a professional sex-worker. Maybe there’s a new drug we’ve been wanting to try. For some of us, it might be as simple as picking a fight with a stranger. for others it will need to more complex, such as ripping down the signs a child has posted for their lost dog.

No matter what the form, we can do our “thing” and return to life’s regular, ordinary responsibilities afresh, knowing that they are important, but a little fun is necessary every now and then too.

Power Words:

Today I will do something for me, and not worry what others might think. Because I will do my something in another town or neighborhood, where friends and colleagues won’t run into me.

From the Archives: Who to Judge

Posted on August 12, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

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“Judge not, lest ye be judged.” said somebody not important enough to warrant credit whenever this ideal is stated. And stated it is, frequently in modern day, despite its being something like 2,000 years old.

We can all see the logic in the idea. Nobody is perfect. To look our fellows and shake our heads at their flaws is to guarantee our status as hypocrites, when the time comes to exhibit our own defects of character, and soon we all do.

What is largely unstated, however, and innately understood, is that this (definitely true) idea functions in degrees.

Example: If our neighbor is observed to be at loud conflict with his wife and children, complete with screaming matches and clothes strewn on the lawn. Sometimes the clothes are set afire. We might say, “Boy, Jim’s not a very good husband.” Soon though, perhaps our own spouse commences to drink to excess daily, while our daughter simultaneously becomes an active participant in a local crime-based motorcycle club. Would our interactions with them remain always cordial and reserved? One would have to be superhuman to pull off such a task.

But let’s imagine a different situation for Jim. Imagine Jim has a loud, raucous party for many days in a row, audible from our own house. Upon investigating, we learn that Jim has paid for the celebration by selling his own children to the aforementioned motorcycle club, and is free to continue it for so long because his wife seems to have disappeared as well. Later, it is revealed that Jim murdered his wife, and served her as steak tips at the party.

What do we possibly have to lose by judging Jim’s actions in this situation? Nothing. We haven’t done, nor will we do, anything that approaches Jim’s pimping, murder, and cannibalism. Thus, anyone who would advise us from the judge-not-lest- perspective would appear ridiculous.

So, if we learn where the boundaries of our own evil lay, we can be free to disdain, malign, label, and pass judgment on all of our fellow men, knowing the situations where we are safe to do so. We can even pick and choose. We may outline Jim’s crimes as stated above, but leave aside his blackout drunkenness and accidental driving on his lawn, remembering our own behavior on Memorial Day. Or something similar.

Power Words:

Today I will look at my life honestly, and see how I am like those whose actions I judge. But I will also see what I have not done, and be able to know who I am safe to judge, blame and label as a demon.

Power Words for August the 9th: TLC

Posted on August 9, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

Sometimes we don’t feel like doing anything. We open our eyes in the morning, and feel the urge, actually more like the pressing, unceasing need, to immediately close them and go back to sleep.

Today I felt that way. I didn’t give thought to my followers, or the effect that The Power Words has on their lives. I didn’t consider whether my actions might affect the day of someone who wakes in the morning and comes to this website in order to find direction and inspiration. I merely thought of myself, and my desire to lay still, making only a slight effort at turning the television on. The choice was clear: give in to selfishness and ignore the responsibility I have as a spiritual leader, or summon the courage to face the footwork of life even though my temporary wants might say to do otherwise.

I chose the first option. My servants brought a breakfast to me of pancakes and syrup, but it seemed too complex an operation to eat the meal, so I just turned the plate over and dumped the whole onto the bedsheets, making them stained and sticky. I buzzed the intercom, demanding the servants return and change the sheets, while not disturbing my position in the bed. This process was complicated, and made more difficult for the servants by my persistent yelling at them during it.

What can you, the student, learn from this story? I don’t care. For the moment, I am still rich. If you’re looking for advice, try to be a good person and have only a positive effect on the world today, I guess. I am going to turn the air conditioning very high so I can fully enjoy my expensive animal skin blankets, and watch pornography. Some days, you really need to focus on enjoying the maximum of what life offers.

Power Words:

Today, do whatever you want. It’s really not my problem. Everything is a miracle wearing a light-cape.

Power Words for August the 8th: Don’t Take it Personally

Posted on August 8, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

We are all sensitive people. This was clear to Marvin Gaye when he said so in the classic song Let’s Get It On, and its clear to each of us when some event in our lives inspires some strong emotion inside us.

Sometimes these emotions are positive. We feel joy and love and laughter. Often though, perhaps too often, our sensitivity makes us feel hurt or angry. The things that happen to us, especially the behavior of others, can injure our pride.

What good does pride do us? Taking pride in who we are might be okay, but it doesn’t change who we are. We merely are who we are, pride or no. When we become obsessed with our sense of self, and feel as though actions by others toward us always reflect our worth, we start down a slippery path. We approach the world and its people always with the attitude of, “Don’t you know who I am?”

Most likely, they do not. Other people just do what they do and often don’t take notice of who they’re doing it to. Children who raise their middle finger toward me when I drive my sedan on my street don’t know that I’m Brad Feiling, or what all of my traits are, positive and negative. They just want to give a rude gesture to an adult who visibly out-earns their parents. Similarly, whomever scratched my sedan’s driver door with a key in Santa Monica last month likely didn’t know I was the owner of the car.

This is why we must not take things personally. Our tendency to this is natural, but it is a grave liability. When challenged by these things, we need only take a deep breath, and remember that these people are sick, just as we once were. We should be grateful we’re walking a spiritual path now.

Once we’ve done that, we can focus on our revenge. The universe is a place forever seeking balance, so we’ll need to harm the offending person slightly worse than they have us, in order to correct the error. A good way I find, lately, is to smear animal feces on the property of such people. Animal scat can be found almost anywhere, in great quantities, usually the product of dogs (large dogs are best). For example, those neighborhood kids I mentioned? Recently, under cover of night, I visited their homes and smeared the siding and front doors with elaborate murals of the aforementioned substance.

Here again, my pride attempted to jump in and stir up trouble. I was upset that I was not going to receive credit for the feces painting. The victims would not know who did it, or for what reason. I took a deep breath, and reminded myself that this isn’t personal, and continued to wipe large brown circles onto the white, painted wood of the Masterson’s front door.

Power Words:

Today, I don’t need to make anything personal. When I don’t react emotionally, I can even scores with other people using cold, calculating effectiveness.

Power Words for August the 7th: A Proposition for Cats

Posted on August 7, 2013 by Brad Feilng, V.sD.

Animals are therapeutic. Most of us would agree with this statement, and as a therapist I always advise my clients that a pet can be a great help in steadying the self and cleaving negative feelings. Except in cases where I believe the client may cause, usually through negligence, the death of the animal.

I have certain misgivings though, about a particular pet choice my clients often make. I refer, as some may have guessed, to the American house cat.

Cats are adorable. I don’t deny this. When we pet them, and they purr, and slink here and there, we feel pleasure. However, can any of us honestly say we have a found a cat to be reliable? “I can always count on my cat when I get home.” Some people might feel this way, but they’re wrong. This is a false belief. Cats are hit or miss. They tend to emerge when they want something. Food, typically.

I have worked with many men of middle age who found themselves unable to connect with a partner in a meaningful way. These clients tended to flee relationships when trouble arose, but equally as often when they merely found themselves beginning to feel attached or reliant to the other person. Many times, these people bemoan their own loneliness and express the want for something lasting, but they are unable to overcome their natural inclination otherwise. This is what I see, when I look to the behavior of cats. Cats are natural commitment-phobes. So, what to do with them?

I would never advise anyone drown their cat. Unless supernatural forces are involved. So we will need another solution.

Thus, to the cat world, I submit the following offer:

Dear cats, we enjoy your company and the touch of your soft fur. We care about you and want you to be happy. But neither of us are going to live forever. Right, cats? Life is short. Especially yours. So, all cats, in the world, I challenge you. I challenge you to take a step you are afraid of. Come near to us, and not just for meat byproducts and back-scratching. Don’t run away from your feelings, or ours. I want this to be a spiritual journey for all of you, and hold your paw as we take risks together. Please understand though, this offer isn’t forever. It’s now or never, and we, the people of earth, won’t hold our breath.

If you can’t meet us halfway, we will have to move on, and you will have to return to the wild where you’ll live only by your wits and ability to compete with other animals.

And we will drown at least some of you.

So, think about it. The choice is yours. We’re opening our hearts to you, and want nothing more than to welcome you inside of us. We do love you, cats.

Power Words:

I want to love cats, but I need to protect my heart too. I am strong enough to make the right choice.